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Entry #0012 (04/22/2023) - Notepad
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CONTENT WARNINGS: gynecological problems, the state of the USA, depressing stuff
DATE: April 22nd, 2023
TIME: 1:47 AM
MOOD: 😟 nervous

the way things are going lately in the united states-- hell, florida even-- is not good to say the very very least. i am extremely scared.

in the midst of satanic panic 3.0, aka the entire transgender panic going on, it frightens me. i am not on hrt. i have had no surgeries. to the public eye, i am visibly female. but i have something deeply wrong with me, that would require hormones to assist in fixing. however, since i just so happen to be transgender/nonbinary/agender/NOT CIS, i would have to fight tooth nail and heart to get help. i don't even know if it would help. but for the possibility to find out, well, a part of me would have to die.

jam, i love him to death, just does not seem to understand how devastating it is. he thinks everything will just get repealed and voted out and fixed and we won't have to worry about it. i do hope hes right. but i know its not that simple. he doesn't have to worry about it. to society he just looks like every other able-bodied cis straight white guy. he's fine.

essentially: i loooove being dragged to a new state and having all of my rights stripped away from me even faster than before its so much fun i love being a sack of fuckmeat to politicians and nothing more because i have the potential to shoot a white cis male child out of my body (much more important than being anything else than that) to use as fodder to the machine that is capitalism (too poor to be that important)

anyway thats enough dooming. thats all for now